Despair: Seeing Negative
Acrylic on paper
Approx 21cmx29.7cm
Listed on EBAY for 20$ including shipping and handling.

Model: My dearest friend Ellie

Thing is as a mother I work my butt off, as an artist I do same and rarely see many results of my work.  It depresses me to see my work not sell, I get all bouncy when it sell its up and down roll-a-coaster. I know things are hard now due to economic shit, hell we even had to cancel our private health insurance today so we can keep up, but it is life.

I frequently want to see brighter side of life, however due to my nature I cannot. I know it is just the excause, however I am not sure how to see positive anymore. Everything angers me, or puts me even more  down where I want to crawl in little hole for no one to see me ever again. It annoys me when people tell me that there is nothing to be depressive about, hell I live in nice subur, have a lil princess who loves dancing and jumping on trampoline, however I do not belong to place I am at in my life.

My mother told me that depression makes a person only see negative things in life, and that they only see problems, I wish I could see the other side of the coin no matter how difficult it is for me now.

The drought of not selling is hitting hard home I wish I could sell something, anything just to give me that kick to make me happier for a minute but it wont happen. So i will sit at home, dabbing in some red or blue and playing with my nudes, keep looking at the wall or paper in front of me and hoping that the pain goes away together with the paint.