Like every other person just before deadlines start to hit I hit the panic button.  All that self doubt surfacing and I am not ready to face it. I cannot concentrate or focus, I work on 100 things at once.  I can do eather art,or be a mum or a housewife who turned back to the career.

Many are continually telling me that I should get the job that pays, I work hard here no one sees that everyone sees art as a hobby or some sort of pleasent side activity.  I am contemplating of getting a shitkicker helpdesk job or something, because of the pressure being inserted upon me.  Sometimes it hits me that my hubby is wonderfull because he puts up with all my crap, me painting, being sick without constant income, even trying to support me through the upcomming solo show.

I get up I read papers, have my 2-4 mugs of coffee while lil one struggles with breakfast, and yes it is my fault she eats one sandwich for 3-4h, and that she is skinny.  You cant force her to eat, to be honest no one can be forced to do anything...

I am into blues again, yay for prussian blue.  I think in the end the whole show will be blue and red, monochromes seduce. I am doubting if I am good enough, if anything will sell so I can at least cover the costs, which are adding up. Still need to translate the press release to croatian and see how that goes, and pushing for some advertising through Croatian community, but I understand everyone is struggling at this point, and that art is the luxury.

Hubby made me go out on Saturday.  We went to some turkish restaurant on Victoria street, where I had to prove that yoghurt is not vegan, and to be honest only good part of the evening was belly dancer jiggling for 5 minutes around the table before rushing off to next restaurant to do the dance.